Lost Students

Lost Students

Taz

Trigger Warnings: School Violence, Death, Suicide

19May2019

Recently my school lost a student
Another shooting in a countless list
We dismissed for a day
Some tried to escape as attendance was stopped
Their presence lost as an insult to the deceased

I never knew their name
I never knew their face
I never knew who was lost
Their corpse was covered in frost

Our system doesn't care, we fake our security
porcelain knives and barettas
Our lives are extra
We aren't our school's focus, they only care for numbers
We check the shooters never the system
Our ballistic minds never pacifistic
The system is never self correcting

I was once close to following
Another suicide statistic and a heuristic override
A quick passing over, no repairs of the problem
A quick letter and a minute of silence
Few students care, they got their own affairs
Giving a quick escape among the disgraced tears of those unknown
Because they never knew me, they just heard my name
No one is to blame, but they all carry the shame
I just won the numbers game
It's our system that's broken
And our toxic social environment
School is a spiral for survival, everyone on their own
Everything must be perfect
everything must be exact
I have to clean up everyone's mistakes
Even if I don't get anything back
Even if I'm called the disgrace
Nowhere is my place

Every school has a few, it's not unusual
Everyone dies eventually
I'm numb to it
I have to be
I've seen a thousand students fall
And I've tried to save as many as I could
But one day I had to cave
It's not my job
I just have to sit and be another statistic in the group
I'll do what I can't if I can cope
I'll keep hope